charleytimelord:

officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

"I’m sorry, what does the McChef recommend?"

229,683 notes

mr-egbutt:

residentevils:

when u accidently type me instead of my 

image

accidentally typing “yeha” instead of “yeah”

image

222,623 notes

coelacanthteeth:

never ever apologize to me for your dog being too excited to see me

a dog could knock me to the ground and give me a black eye and I would still hug it and love it because dogs hurt because they love too much I love dogs

(Source: princemotorcycle)

330,952 notes

wise-barrel-maker:

dearness:

qunerdi:

???????

WHAT KIND OF COURT IS THIS

I’m just still in awe that they have chairs small enough to accommodate bees

I love that the other lawyer is mad because he tried three times and failed

63,231 notes

spookyjohansson:

*Jesus does the cup song at the Last Supper* You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.

(Source: officialwintersoldier)

118,438 notes

neonspaceships:

My teacher dresses up as Mr. Neutron oh my god I’m dying

neonspaceships:

My teacher dresses up as Mr. Neutron oh my god I’m dying

27,456 notes